Toilet Bowl Matchups

Another regular season in the books! Let's talk Toilet Bowl before we move onto the playoffs. Remember, we reseed for the Toilet Bowl. Okay, let's find out who'll get next year's #1 pick! [2012 Toilet Bowl preview]

#1 Gang Green (6-7) vs #4 Athena Nike (2-11)
Gang Green was just one win short of the playoffs and actually was the highest scoring team in Spunky Misunderstood — and second overall. After coming out of the gates 1-3, they found themselves at 0.500 by WK8 but then stumbled to three losses in their last five games to slide out of the postseason. All of this with the otherworldly Peyton Manning at the helm. Manning had four 40+ point games this season, a 64.9 point WK1 showing, and was far and away the best fantasy player at 35.4 points per game. On top of that, Brandon Marshall was a top five WR and for most of the season Frank Gore approximated the numbers of a low end #1 RB. Unfortunately, that’s about it for the stuff that went right.

Mike Wallace and Hakeem Nicks got a lot of playing time and they each had a few moments but neither were consistent contributors. TE Julius Thomas could actually be quite the find, but he's been suffering from injuries of late. Stevan Ridley returned from early season injury to provide temporary relief in the backfield for a few games but he’s fallen off again. And it’s an extreme understatement to say that Greg’s top draft pick, David Wilson, was a total bust as he only contributed -2.1 points on the season. The silver lining for this team is that they won the Toilet Bowl last season and are favored to do so again. Gang Green hasn’t been in the playoffs since 2009, when they snuck into the playoffs with a 5-8 record but upset their way to a Super Bowl win. Unfortunately, they won't have that chance this year.

As for Ante Up aka Athena Nike, aka Frank who refuses to change his franchise's name on ESPN, it’s been a horrific first season as owner. They started off 1-5, lost their last six regular season games, and their two wins were against 4-9 Buffy and 4-9 Fobsters. With a roster that was bursting with talent pre-season, Athena Nike totally collapsed when it came time to strap on the helmets. The failures started from the top with Aaron Rodgers, who was mostly lukewarm this year until he started heating up, only to fall victim to injury. In fact, his backup, Philip Rivers, led Athena Nike in points scored, even if Rivers managed to pick up no wins as an Athena man.

The three headed rushing attack of Ray Rice, CJ Spiller, and Alfred Morris was a who’s who of disappointments as Rice and Spiller were both huge busts this season, and Morris hasn’t broken twenty points in a game yet this season. And he’s been the good one! Forced to juggle receivers all season long due to Roddy White’s injury, Frank was able to rely on Cecil Shorts and Steve Smith, while adding in a dash of Emmanuel Sanders and Jordan Reed, but none of these guys would be described as game changers. On top of all those disappointments, Athena Nike got smashed by easily the toughest schedule in the league, and since they were the lowest scoring team, they ended up with a PF/PA differential of -34.6 points per game. Basically Frank just wants this season to be over. And it should be soon.

#2 LA Buffy (4-9) vs #3 Fobsters (4-9)
Coming off two glorious seasons, Roger didn’t expect his team to collapse quite so fast. Buffy only suffered ten regular season losses the last three years combined but racked up nine just this season. They haven’t had a losing season since 2008 and it seems like this was just a down year for our three time champions. It was brutal to finish the season 1-6 though, so hopefully can turn around quickly here. A Toilet Bowl win could be a nice panacea to a painful year for Roger.

The lone bright spot from Buffy’s horrific season was Matt Forte, who averaged 18.1 points on his way to being a top two ranked RB. His backfield mate, Arian Foster, lost out on major IPO money and also only posted three double digit games before getting his season wiped out from injury. Roger also lost Reggie Wayne around mid-season, although that injury didn’t hurt too much, as A.J. Green, Wes Welker, and Victor Cruz were an ideal three man unit. It would have been nice if Danny Amendola stepped in there somehow, but we all know how Amendola’s health has been. A minor surprise was the work of Ryan Mathews, who has been semi-decent this year, although he only got into a few games for Buffy, and wasn’t of much use. Eli Manning was erratic all season, and the QB position wasn’t one of much strength, and perhaps Ben Roethlisberger could have been inserted into the lineup more often. At the end of the day, Buffy has a shot for a high draft pick, and that could salvage his disappointing season.

As for the Fobsters, they've been horrible since the beginning of the year and they lost the H2H seeding matchup to Buffy but could be better positioned to take a Toilet Bowl win. Sure they finished off the year 1-4 but they’ve also had some explosive moments this season — as evidenced by 135.3 points in WK8 and 127.8 points in WK12. Jimmy’s team had three and a two half standout players this season. Dez Bryant and Jordy Nelson were top ten-ish WRs, rookie Eddie Lacy has proved to be a bonafide fantasy star, and the juggling act of Tom Brady and Tony Romo worked out pretty well. After those guys though, the roster dropped off pretty fast.

Dwayne Bowe, Antonio Gates, Zac Stacy, Kenbrell Thompkins, Joique Bell, Lamar Miller, and Doug Baldwin were all erratic and/or disappointments. None of them contributed more than 66.7 points (Bowe) to Fobsters’ bottom line. With a roster that bereft of depth, it was no wonder Jimmy’ squad suffered the second lowest PF and will go into the yet another Toilet Bowl. It wasn’t that long ago — 2011 on a 6-7 record — that Fobsters were in the playoffs, with a good offseason, they could be back again. First step: Take out Buffy. Second step: Stop sucking.

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